Alan's Blog




Choosing a Wife

It's easy to fall in love but much harder to live with the one you love – as millions of people have found – to their cost – as did I with my first marriage.

In choosing a spouse one has to make sure that one can actually live with that person, as well as love them.

I suggest that one should choose a wife who, apart from everything else, is your best friend – a soulmate in every sense of the word. One couple who were friends of my family for most of their lives had an especially long and successful marriage. When asked for the secret of this success they would always respond that it was because they were each other's best friend. They were happily married for getting on for 70 years, so we can learn from that.

One should also observe the old saying "There is only room for one pair of legs in a pair of trousers". How true.

Another saying that seems to ring true is "If a girl gets to the age of 30 without being married, there must be good reason for it" – i.e. no one wants her for some reason. Funnily enough, my ex-wife kicked me out when she was age 30 – and she is still on her own 30 years later.

In recent times there has been a tremendous change regarding marriage. Many couples now live together without being married. They are really missing out on something special which Grace, my second wife, and I experienced when we got married – a very special feeling of closeness that wasn't there before the knot was tied. How sad it must be not to have that feeling and I'm sure this has been a contributary factor in our successful relationship – as well as being each other's best friend!

On reading this, many readers may think that Grace and I have had an easy, charmed life together, but nothing could be further from the truth. I suggest that few couples have been through what we've had to endure at times; being homeless; the loss of one of our children – and living in a hospital with her for 8.5 months; living in 5 different countries; no family support, and yet, here we are after more than 18 years together, still delightfully happy in our relationship and wanting it to go on forever. How wonderful is that?


All comments on my blog should be addressed to: